Let’s Get To Work

I sit outside Geoffreys office with a heated discussion going on inside. Geoffrey was easy to distinguish with his booming, still buoyant sounding tone! The other wasn’t easy to make out. I get up to move closer to the door to try get a listen to see if any of the comotion was about me and my pending involvement at the club. As I inch closer the door swung open and out burst Kate from the room, clutching underwear garments and stomping away, redfaced and angry.

I rap one knuckle on the door, ‘Erm Geoffrey…..’ he cuts me short,

‘Ah Ste good to see you! Need to talk about normality and football matters instead the sexual persuasion of my floozy daughter!’ his tone relieved yet flustered. I struggled to get a word out though with the thoughts of Kate in an entaglement hit me like a speed train! He saw he unable to speak so carried on ‘The tarts underwear was all over my office and the camera had caughts her and Carbone in shall we say a precarious situation!’

I had to take a seat and quick! For obvious reasons I was not prepared to ask for permission whilst wondering where I could find the CCTV footage. I realised this wouldn’t put me in the best position if I gave my thoughts away so got straight down to business. Like I said I had known Geoffrey to be slightly underhand from conversations within the circles in the city. My first err on the side of caution was the contract I brought back with me,

‘Geoffrey I am more than happy to sign this contract, and would have done before coming but I noticed a little discrepency!’ I confidently put my point across but he looked totally baffled by what I said. I was not sure if this was intentional or a genuine mistake!

‘What is it son? I made sure we drew everything up properly to move quickly and get to work!’ The more he said the more I realised it was my paranoid head, which I feel I was justified having with my recent experiences ‘I can’t see anything wrong Ste, and I am not prepared to change the terms as to be fair your experience doesn’t equate to whats on offer!’ Shit! I’ve got this totally wrong!

‘Well Geoffrey i just want to make sure everything is above board and notice my name on the contract isn spelt Steven where I am actually spelt with a PH’ I look down sheepishly knowing I had made a big mistake

‘Hahahahaha, bloody hell son easily rectified! We can just sign an ammendment to contract form to keep with it! Anyway less of that, let’s get to work! I have your shortlist and will start working through. I see there are some pretty unknown players here and also a couple that will cost a bit! Are you sure you can do this on 3 million?’ His jovial tone went to a demanding one that he did not want his money wasting.

‘Yes Geoffrey definitely, I promise there will be nett profit too. Too many old heads and too many ex Leeds here seemingly for a ride, I will meet the squad and decide who I want, most will go as I want to work with the list’

Geoffrey nodded confidently then asked ‘and the Italian prick?’

‘I did say I want to keep him mate’ But the thoughts of getting him out of the way for an easy 8 million to free Kate up was extremely temptin but he has genuine class and I know I am taking a risk with some of the lads I want. ‘How about we come to an agreement if he isnt performing to a certain level, ie an average rating me and the rest of the staff are happy with and is not involved in at least 15 goal contributions he goes at seasons end where his value will still guarantee some decent money’

Geoffrey seemed happy with the offer on the table. Without saying anything he stood up shook my hand and and said ‘No go meet your squad’

Pete met me outside the offices ready to lead me to the changing rooms before my first day at training ‘Now then gaffer how are we?’ he said grinning like a cheshire cat. This club meant the world to him and he knew the lads I wanted I had followed them from youngsters in their careers.

‘I am good thanks mate. Again I need to….’

Pete interrupted ‘No more thanks needed. Just get my club out of this mess!’

I was stunned what a man, why did he have this level of confidence I could do what he wanted? I nodded in a determined matter as I owe everything to him.

As we get to the door to the main changing room I hear a dominant voice, very demanding of the players

‘This is the 14th of July the start of our real pre season with our new manager. There were not many of us who contributed anywhere near enough to try keep this club in the premier league. If you want to show the manager you deserve to be here show respect regardless of his lack of experience’ I butted in, in my own mind I knew he was right but that made me more determined to get this squad on the straight and narrow, he continued ‘We have evry chance of going back up so show this manager you want to fight or I will advise him of which of you need to go’

That was a talk of the stature of a man I wanted as captain, I entered the room he turned and headed towards me. I should nnot have been shocked to see it was David Wetherall, among all the ex Leeds I was preaching about to Geoffrey it was not this man. A warrior in my eyes who will be vital for this season.

‘morning gaffer I am david Wetherall’ he enthusiastically introduced himself, I am guessing more of the fresh start ahead for them as opposed to me actually being the new manager.

‘I know who you are, type of character I want in this team and the team needs in it. You will be vital to the cause this season!’ He looked at me with an agreeing look which having a mentality matching my own, determined and self believing which I love as a trait. I look around the changing room recognising the players I know. Whilst looking I start making my judgements of them. Robert Molenaar, solid for Leeds one of the ones to seem to give a shit but not my cup of tea. Rigid with a lack of pace. He is off. Gunner Halle far too old. Stalwart in England Plenty of time at Oldham and Leeds. I will play with wingbacks, he hasnt got the legs to work like I want. Out. Lee Sharpe, will take any amount of money for him, even when Geoffrey described him as he did I was already aware of his playboy antics and living off the fact he has 8 England caps. Worth nothing here pal. Out. Robbie Blake, enigmatic, skillful, could have the world at his feet. Yet hes lazy and has a rear end the size of Kim Kardashian. Out. Last two I have to decide about that are not squad players. Claus Bech Jorgensen, talanted knows where the back of the net is yet surplus to rquirements with the talent I have my eye on. Can get a third of what I spend back on him. Out. Gary Walsh, Experienced, legend of the club. Think he can have an important role this season, maybe next season needs replacing but definitely do a job.

As I run my eyes around I see a certain player wasn’t there. Fucking Carbone. I am about to ask when an almighty screech sounded through the open doors to the changing rooms. Its him, in his bright red Ferrari. Self indulgent prick. Maybe he won’t last as long as I wanted, never got a chance with Kate while hes swanning about like the best player in the world. He swans in slicked back hair, black leather jacket and makes a beeline straight for me.

‘Buongiorno!’ He said grabbing my face hard and kissing me on both cheeks. I stood shocked but then had a quick thought about where both his hands and lips had been with Kate thinking it definitely was the closest I was getting.

‘Right lads I see Benny has joined us. Look I know I am inexperienced but I know a way of playing and between some of you guys, and some I have an idea to bring in some class to add to you guys and you will be competitive. Lets get out there and get at it!’

The group looked shocked about the threat that some are leaving, it was my way of letting them know they have to impress to have any chance of staying.

Pre season was going well and the group was dwindling we ship quite a few of the current squad out

Meanwhile Geoffrey was busy working on my shortlist we have an influx of players. He is over the moon with the amount of money I have milked for what are in my opinion mediocre players. The amount brought in worries me though as it could mean they are more valuable to the cause.

Geoffrey drags me into his room and sits with a big bottle of whiskey and pours us both one. I looke at the bottle, Johnnie Walker blue label. £140 a bottle. I have never been able to bring myself to spend that much on one but accepted with apprehension thinking is this another money grabbing exercise?

‘Ste my boy superb what you have done in the market. The board are delighted with what you have done’ Yeah I bet i murmur to myself ‘Although we are still sticking to the 3.2m we offered you to spend is all thats staying on the table!’ Again was not a slight bit of shock in my reaction he does give me a touch of an explanation ‘Look 3 of the lads on the list we have only managed to get 2 but got another player we were assured by a scout would do a job. We are having to pay them more than the prick to get them around work permit issues so they are on 38.5k a week! Adds up lad’ i accept the ecuse as I havent physically asked for anyone else yet, but I had to enquire

‘Erm you haven’t said anything about this 3rd player boss leaving me not knowing which of the 3 we have?’ I am worried and he confirmed my worst fears

‘Ste we tried our very very best but we could not find a player called Maxim Tsigalko anywhere in the Minsk team. The scouts were there two weeks and they found nobosy of that name. We found a Maksim Tsyhalka but thought it was too different to risk. So we brought a lad called Volodenkiv instead as you had a couple of strikers on your list’

Head in my hands as I had actually seen the lad play himself and he was a beast! I have heard good things about Volodenkov but he is no Maxim. Our business concludes for the summer. I will be going to Geoffrey if we need an injection of quality.

With a mixture of solid low league players I have seen play plus some reccomended foreigners I feel we are good to go.

Its the 7th of August. First home game on the 11th. I start getting nervous and turn to drink. I go home from the ground panicking I cannot get these lads playing. I have fucked up in my head. Going to have to wait until they all grasp English to communicate properly. The pressure is beginning to tell in my own head. The arrogance and self belief was were heading for a head on collision worse than Vince Neils’s. The morning of the 8th I am hungover, badly hungover. I saunter in on foot not daring to get behind the wheel. I get hit with an image of Carbone and Kate kissing oon the bonnet of his Ferrari. I stumble past pretending to look the other direction and be on the phone, then accidently on purpose trip intot he couple. I apologise profusely, Kate fuming but Benny said

‘Gaffer don’t worry! Accidents happent! See you on the field!’

Wow I thought. Benny is growing on me! His talent the main reason, the lad should not be playing division 1 football. I nod thankfully and walk onto the training pitch. Training is going great! Benny for all his talents is getting infuriated by new signing Neil Scally. He would kick his own dog up and down the street and get his rocks off doing it. He takes offence to Benny showing everyone the heels and making a pratt out of them. He is the William Wallace of a football pitch. A total warrior, silent but deadly by nature a rock of a man who will give his all for the cause. My favourite signing of the season. This one goes too far this session, one I didn’t need when feeling like Freddie Kruger was stood at the side of me putting his claws through both my temples simultaneously.

Benny picks the ball up on half way. Young enthustiastic spaniard Adolfo knows he has a battle to get in front of Benny and is chasing shadows trying to prove his worth. He is a talented kid who will get a shot. Benny at his erratic egotistical best took his red bib off and wrapped it around the ball. With his foot on the top of the ball he was goading Adders to get it, Adders was getting madder and madder and charged at the ball. Benny was dragging it away like he was a matador shouting ‘Ole’ it was fucking genius. I look over and Neil has a piercing look in his eyes. on probably the 5th OLE, Neil charges over and goes through Benny with two feet. I gave a chuckle under my breath. Mainly because of my secret lusting of Kate. Benny jumped up and swung at Scalls. Oh shit I thought. I look up in the directors box overlooking the pitch and I see Geoffrey there looking down on Neil Scally laying into Benny with a flurry of punches. He finally gets dragged off. I go over to Benny and give him a hand up

‘You ok pal?’ I ask holding back the joy at what I had seen.

‘Yes gaffer it is just that Figlio di puttana!’ I knew what he meant without understanding fully. Deserved comment? probably! Scally though is of massive importance to us so I give Benny a reassuring tap on the back.

The day after at training was tense! Benny giving Scalls as good as he got. I was pleasantly surprised to see there was a tough player behind that primma donna, boyband looking, slicked back hair, Ferrari driving….. balls I am off on a tangent again. The lads been good to me to be fair and reacted well to my training methods and I am finding myself mad at him because I lust after a girl I dont really know. Fuck sake give your head a shake. One lad who is putting himself in contention for the first game is David Collins. I know him from my non-league days. The lad has immense talent. He is not someone I can put a finger on why he has never made id. As far as I know he is a clean living lad with no bad habits. Strange really! But now is his chance to shine. I pull him after training ‘Dave before you go in shower come her a minute mate’

‘Yes gaffer what’s up?’ He asks out of breath from the ridiculous effort he has put into the session.

‘Look mate, games a couple of days off. I know your career so far. Followed you since being at Burnley. Always been impressed. You are starting Saturday. You have had an unreal pre season and deserve your shot. Do me but most importantly yourself proud!’ I felt like a real manager. For the first time might I add. The look on his face made me know that I had done a good job there.

‘Thanks gaffer I wont let you down’ he quickly says and jogs off. No hint of fear or nervousness. I was buzzing for our first game.

‘Ste have you got a minute?’ A sweet voice called out that I now recognised.

‘Yeah course Kate, what’s up?’ I ask thinking I was trying to be flirty but probably sounded a prat.

‘Dad wants a quick word if thats ok?’ Her tone was different, not strong or demanding. More soft and asking as opposed to telling. Why was a mystery at very best to me.

I went up to see Geoffrey to see what he wanted.

‘Ste, just an update on the Belarusians. Milevskiy will landing Friday night after his work permit is approved. The others for the game after. I am sorry but I am not paying someone 38.5k to sit on the bench I want him in the team Saturday’

This pissed me off. It was the first sense of I knew my place as a manager with little reputation. On the other hand I asked for him and the club jumped through hoops to get him in. I nodded in agreement.

‘Looking forward to the game’ he continued ‘and we have every faith after overseeing your training methods the lads, even that fucking Italian prick’ I was growing a soft spot for Benny regardless of his relationship with Kate and it was beginning to grate on me so I had to interrupt

‘Sorry Geoffrey I really appreciate the position you are in regarding benny but I feel he is going to be massive for us. I have put our rating for him based on certain things to average a minumum of 7.8 for the season. I will email you the system and you will understand it easily. But can I ask when im in your presence you refer to my player as Carbone. I don’t expect respect or you to like him but please trust me’

Jesus took some saying but I had signed the contract. Had compensation in my pocket if he got rid of me so had to say it.

‘Look lad, I have seen his reaction to you on the training field and respect your wish for now. He doesn’t tow your line I will refer to him however I like and you stick to your bargain and get shut’ He seemed to gain respect by the way I defended my player. Which in essence gave me more faith in his support of me. For now at the very least.

Its the morning of the 11th of August. First game, fuck it’s here. Right head on and at it. Not very easy to do after a stupid amount of Jack Daniels and coke the night before as I couldn’t sleep. Excitement led to fear, which led to arrogance and led to panic. So many emotions I had never experienced in one night apart from the night at the local brothel.

The lads are sat in the changing room. I look around their faces. Weths was sat next to Scalls. Fully expected that. Like minded warriors, winners and most of all tough bastards needed at this level. It feels like cliques are forming. Collins sat with Stevie Housham, another from non league who did very well at Scunthorpe and there was no reason he should have ended up in non league. Then the moment came, the light in the room dimmed. I looked over t the doorway to the changing room. A man mountain, looking like Dolph Lundgren from Rocky 4. The further he walked in the room this chiseled eastern european god was staring around the room. It as Milevskiy. Once I saw his frame I was more happy about having to play him.

‘How do old lad you must be Andrey’ Absolutely ridculous thing to do. Speak a greeting with Yorkshire words but speaking to him like he is deaf in the hope he can understand.

‘Yes’ he says in a very monotone way. ‘I look forward to play today’ Jesus I thought I have signed Ivan Drago. I take him over to the board. Show him the formation and mainly point we nod at each other then he sits down. Quick thought came into my head thinking Benny has his work cut out with Kate now!

We are at home to 2000/2001 season play off semi finalists West Bromwich Albion. Very tough game. The local media have been very supportive. The national media on the otherhand and telivised media shared a different view.

Phil Thompson ‘I have the pleasure of watching this game today. West Brom will start well and win well to put them on course for a promotional season’

Fuck off you big nosed pratt.

George Best ‘I like the theory, local manager, unknown signings, West Brom far too strong though’ George could say what he wanted and I would be in awe.

Jeff Stelling ‘I would even fancy Hartlepools chances with an unknown manager and unknown players after only being together less than a month’ Sorry Jeff we would smash you into next week

Chris Kamara ‘They would have been better bringing me back’ Kammy has respect in these quarters for his achievements, but football manager now? No chance? he is barely a comedian wannabe on Soccer Saturday.

We are at kick off at the start of the game. I stare up the touchline and look up at Gary Megson. Shit flat cap on. I think you boring ginger bastard. you haven’t a clue whats coming for you.

We line up very strong in my opinion. Andrey I decided to play at DMC as I thought it would give new signing Stevie Foster and Weths an easy game, especially with Scalls in front of them too. Agostinho is known to be an assist machine. lightning quick and has the dribbling skills of a teething toddler. Mike Duff is an absolute beast who will shick this league. He is so strong, has enough stamina for a 12 day session and tough as old boots. Im confident even if others aren’t. the game kicks off.

Megson comes down the touchline. I don’t lknow how he will react. Holds his hand out

‘Well done lad not many will do that to us this season. Good look. It is a good start for you. Need any advice here is my number’

He hands me a pice of folded paper.

‘Cheers Gary, Long way to go. Could have been a fluke (i trust my lads no fluke you gignger tosser in my head) appreciate the sentiment see you at your place)

Megsons walks down the tunnel. I open the paper as I decide if I want or need his number.

Fair fucks I say to myself with a wry smile. I will get you back Gary don’t you worry. I was buzzing for the lads. I organised a case of magners in the changing rooms after. The lads appreciated it.

‘ehi fottuta where’s the Peroni????’

I wont lie I had to google what Benny shouted at me, but I will take fuckface in a jovial tone. I then turned into Geoffrey,

‘Get fucked you Italian prick you only managed a 7, I expect more not get one down you!’

Very affectionate man is Benny, another thing that I love but infuriates me when it comes to Kate. He walks over, grabs 2 magners, passes one to me

‘But gaffer we’ve done it! We’ve won and won fucking well’

He was not wrong. The season is off, and so are the Bantams. I wont get excited yet but……….