My New Captain

The lads are still buzzing. Everyone showered. The celebratory beers are nearly gone. No one has left yet as they all talk about the game between themselves with big smiles and bellowing laughs. The togetherness is emaniting from the group despite such a short time together. We are all about to make our way to the car park when Geoffrey walks in

‘Absolutely superb performance gentlemen. The board and I are ecstatic with your start’ I bet you are I think to myself while having spent the three million offered I have brought in 13 million. No wonder they are ‘ecstatic’. Prick!

‘As a group of players if the lads that have left had your bottle and resiliance in a game we wouldn’t be in this division. The board and myself are confident on that showing we will not be in this division long either’ Is he for fucking real. One win, a rag tag of players even I dont know some of who they are and hes expecting promotion. I have to tell myself to calm down. I am in a priveledged position, I have to keep telling myself that.

He continues ‘So as a thank you for showing the fight for this great club I have hired out Penningtons nightclub for you all, and all club staff tonight. The bar tab is on the club. Enjoy yourselves’

maybe I was getting a bit too frustrated. He is obviously a fan of the club and delighted with what he saw. Which I have to admit whilst it hasn’t got me putting any targets on our season, I can tell we have a solid group. Everyone disperses to the car park and heads off to get ready for the night. I did notice in the changing rooms small groups had formed instantly. There was only really Benny who was flitting between each of the small groups. It felt like tonight is a good early chance for them to get to know each other a bit more.

Everyone finally arrives at the club. The beers are flowing, Milevskiy comes over with Niki, who didnt play due to a knock, the club were made aware we had a couple of Belarusian lads playing so sourced some Belarusian Vodka, they have a reputation for being some of the heaviest drinkers in the world! I begin to wonder how bad it will be with three of the mad bastards around!

‘Gaffer, Gaffer!’ Andriy shouts in a deep voice, he certainly reminds me a lot of Dolph Lundgren from Rocky IV ‘You drink Vodka?’ I fucking hate the stuff. But he is getting closer with this ice cold bottle with a narrow pourer on the top. ‘Open wide!!!’ I aren’t a fucking baby you mad bastard. I go along with it to make them feel part of the group

‘Ok Andriy hit me!’ And hit me it did, I may be able to drink copious amounts of Magners and whiskey but this stuff knocks my head off. I usher his hand away with a mouthful. I swallow in painfully, then realise it wasn’t as bad as I imagined as it had come from the freezer.

‘Good yeah’ He grinned nodding excitedly. I couldnt speak still swallowing, I gave him a nod and thumbs up. Him and Niki put there arms round each other and sauntered back to the bar. Jesus that was strong though.

I look over to see Colls and Housh sat together away from the crowd. These boys have come from non league but I need them to know I brought them in because I rate them not as mascots. Although Housh is yet to play its early days and will get his chance. I head over to the lads

‘Now then lads how we doing? Let me buy you a drink!’

Colls looks confused ‘Erm gaffer, it’s a free bar!’ jesus a joke to sort of lighten their mood seems to have flown over his head.

‘I know you pillock haha, nearly empty though lads let me head to bar and I will have a pint with you both’ They both nod so I head over to the bar area. I ask the barmaid for three pints with three whiskey chasers. I want to get the boys a bit fresh so they loosen up about any worries they might have. The barmaid turns and starts preparing the order. I see something happening out of the corner of my eye. Benny and Kate seem to be having a bit of an altercation, she seems hysterical. I wonder what is going on when Benny turns to walk out. Kate tried grabbing his arm in protest of him leaving but he forcefully swung it away from her and headed to the door. I am in two minds about what to do. I don’t want her thinking I am a creep, but if my most high profile player has a problem with something I need to know about it. I decide to head over to her.

‘Hi Kate is everything ok?’ I ask in a sympathetic yet quizzical way

‘No its not, Benny has broke up with me’ The tears are quite heavy as she carries on to explain ‘and it is all your fucking fault!’

I felt like I had been hit with a sledgehammer. It was the last thing I was expecting her to say! I had not the slightest idea of how. If I had done something surely I would have remembered. ‘Erm… how is it my fault?’ my tone was quite stern as I felt I was in the right.

‘The reason he has broke up with me is he felt he didn’t give his all in your first game of the season. He said he loves what you have brought to the club, the training the players, he said he sees something special. In the club not fucking me it seems!’ I think to myself lets be honest he could have a string of Kates if he so desired. ‘He said throughout the season he wants no distractions from his football. That included me. He said he wanted to prove to you what everyone has said about him is not true and you deserve the best version of Benny possible. All he was wanting is to impress you. Fucking YOU YOU YOU!’

I am utterly compunded by amazement. I am a novice manager and a high end player showing me respect and adulation already. Wow. Gobsmacked, I could go on, but then I decide to stick up for myself

‘Look Kate I am here to do a job, that job includes Bentio Carbone playing very well. If he feels he needs to be on his own in terms of a relationship thats on him not me. I havent spoken to him about anything like this in the slightest, in fact I am probably more shocked than you are’ Shit that last comment strayed from my usual be cool tone in front of her. She saw I knew nothing of it then her tune changed!

‘You know though’ Wow what a change in her tone, she was angry then immediately gone with a soft tone ‘I can see why he is saying it, why he wants to do well for you. You release an aura of self confidence and assuredment. It is a beautiful trait in someone’ Wow, that escalted quickly! She softly grabbed my hand and gently started pulling us closer together, then continued ‘why be with the man who doesnt want me, and be with the man he wants to please, as much as I started twitching in areas that had not for years as I concentrated on my football I knew her game straight up. I opened my mouth to talk but she lay a finger on my lips and said ‘I don’t know why I haven’t done this sooner. I see the lust in your eyes everytime we talk, I know you want me and what you want to do with me’ In what felt like an eternity I finally managed to grasp reality. I grabbed her by both arms firmly and pushed her away.

‘Look Kate, I aren’t falling for that shit so what if I find you fucking attractive, most red bloodied men would and the ones that reckon they wouldn’t would be batshit crazy not to. I aren’t prepared to stand here in front of the club and let something get back to Benny for your fulfillment! You actually think that would make him think oh I was wrong? No now leave me alone!’

I don’t know who was more surprised, her or me! In the mean time Colls and Housh had grabbed their pints but left the whiskeys. Pussies! I turn around to collect them and there was Benny. Shit.

‘Benny mate look…’ He interrupted me immediately

‘Thank you gaffer! You have shown me the true Kate and made my decision the correct one’ It turns out he came back to offer more explanation and saw everything. I look up Kate was as white as a ghost! She stomped her long leg with black fishnets on, which again I found myself shocked I didn’t indulge!, grabbed her bag and shot out of the club, Benny then continued,

‘Thanks for not fucking her too boss’ I went bright red ‘I managed to hold off for a long time she has a certain way with men and getting what she wants. You really are the man I expected you to be’ Jesus its a good job he could not read my mind I quickly change the conversation to one of football.

‘No problem mate’ I stop to quickly down the three whiskeys ‘Can you do me a favour Colls and Housh have a look like they feel they dont belong can you sit with us?’

‘Of course gaffer anything for the team, Barmaid 16 Peroni’s’ Peroni?? One Geoffrey will go mad at the price! and two I am not a fan of premium lagers. But I run with it. Benny was great that night he brought all the cliques that had quickly built together. Maybe this was the start of something special.

Next up we had a big Yorkshire Derby at Hillsborough. Managed by the wet lettuce Peter Shreeves. He is definitely a man I have thought needed his hard drive checking. Training that week after the Penningtons night was unreal. The lads were flying into tackles, laughing, working as a team. I felt like I had arrived. Yes it was early but this felt right. Benny was the voice on the pitch I asked him over during one of the vigorous sessions.

‘Benny you have a sec?’ I say as I ushered him over.

‘Yes gaffer what is it?’ He looks worried. I don’t know why!

‘Look I have been watching you in training, you are vocal, encourage people and they listen. I am taking the captaincy off Weths to concentrate on his game and I want you to be captain. Weths was the most professional of players I had ever come across. I had spoken before the session and he approved of the decision having seen the upturn in Benny’s attitude.

‘But gaffer Weths is….’ I interrupt him sharply

‘Weths agrees with the decision. Go lead your team’ He nods and continues in the same vein. His effort is superb and probably not what anyone let alone Geoffrey expected.

Game day. The boys are focused on the hour long coach drive. They have a look in their eyes which matches the weeks training. As we leave the ground Kate give me the dead eye through the window. Hair tied up, glasses on, clipboard. Scowl. Makes her look even hotter.

During the week Our other Belarusian had his work permit approved during the week too so had the Wednesday and Thursday training with us. In terms of the team I have spoken to a lot of people about Nikiforenko and Volodenkov. Niki I knew of anyway but Volodenkov was Geoffreys shot in the dark, I decide to leave Duffy out. He scored but in our system he only scored a 7 rating. From what I have heard Vitaliy is better as an attacking midfielder but we stick with a winning formation

We leave the dressing rooms after the warm up Shreeves comes over

‘Good luck Ste, very nice to see yu in the football league all the very best to you’ He is definitely one creepy bastard I thank him and can’t get in my technical area quick enough.

Benny looks nervous. More than expected though. We kick the game off. We fly out of the blocks a flurry of attacks Wednesday are shaken by our start. We get on the score sheet in the 11th minute. Andriy does what he does well makes a big tackle n Tommy Johnson who fowls him on the halfway line after he takes the ball. Weths puts the free kick into the box. Colls gets himself above ex England international Andy Hinchcliffe to power a header in. Benny runs straight over and kisses him on both cheeks! Maybe the talk in the club did the trick. He looks a different player. We score again before halftime. Vitaliy showing his attacking sharpness. The ball was strongly squared across goal by assit machine Agostinho, Vitaliy came in stong at the far post to fire a half volley in. What a start. Half time we walk in look at Shreeves he smies and nods. looks like he doesn’t care. He is beginning to freak me out. I pull Benny out of the changing room while Pete takes the talk.

‘You are putting too much pressure on yourself. Are you sure you can cope with the armband mate? Pete scored you a 5 in that first half?

‘Sorry gaffer I need to play my normal game and lead by example, I tried changing but I won’t I will play the way you saw to give me it!’

Great answer I thought, we head out for the second half. We seal the victory in the 50th minute when a strong effort from Portugese Hitman To Madeira was only pushed out for a corner by pressman. Benny grabbed the ball quickly, spooted a run to the near post by man mountain Ste Foster who glances the third and final goal of the game in. 3–0 at Hillsborough. 2 games, 5 goals 0 conceded. I feel in Dreamland. Vitaliy picked up the man of the match award on debut with a terrific 9.

We arrive back at Valley Parade, greeted by around 40 fans. Cheering us in. Geoffrey asks me to go to the front of the bus.

‘This is what our fans are like Ste, they see effort they support. This is down to you son. Take pride in wat you have done’ He didn’t give me a chance to reply he got off the bus and straight in his car. I leave the ground happy and decide to stop and have a quick pint on the way home. Fans asking for autographs. Taking pictures. This feels all too surreal.

I gave the boys Sunday off an we head back in to training Monday. All the lads are in high spirits, and why wouldnt they be. They have been superb the first two games. Another hard start to the week at it and I feel it is time to have a look at the squad. We have a midweek league cup game against division two Rotherham United. Back to South Yorkshire we go. We give all the main guys a rest, the one I am most looking forward to seeing is young Swedish striker Meysam Javan. He is one I knew of after a spell towards the end of my career playing in the lower leagues in Sweden which are a reasonable level.

Also making a debut is ex Napoli defender Steinar Nilsen, a Norweigian with a good reputation and only the form of Foster Keeping him out.

The lads look fairly comfortable a lot with good non league experience but not much in the football league. 13 minutes into the game the most experienced player on the pitch Nilsen decides to foul Rotherhams most dangerous player to start with Simon Clist, who was running the show early doors. As Clist got up from the foul he squared up to Nilsen who in a moment of sheer madness headbutted him. Putting our inexperienced team under a lot of pressure against a battle hardened league side. I don’t even look at him as he leaves the field. In the 33rd minute that man Clist after good work by a Rotherham player was found in the box to blast home. There is silence around the team. We are beginning to calm a bit and just before half time on 44 mins Javan gets his debut goal. Spanish defending midfielder Agustin found him with a chipped ball into the box to smash a vbolley in. Throughout the rest of the game there were a lot of chances for both sides. Rotherham had more on target which was dealt with with aplomb by ex Telford keeper Dean Williams. The game fizzled out and headed to penalties. We comfortably head through when that man Williams demanded to take one to send us through he clinically did. The elation of the league games had gone, but we put ourselves in the hat for the next round which is all that amtters. Maybe it is a step far for one or two of the guys.

We head back into training the day after and we decide to have a game, the fringe players against the lads who have done so well so far. I pull Benny and say

‘These lads need to play competitively against good tough players. Treat the game as a real game mate and take no prisoners.’

He brings his 11 in a huddle and the boys are unreal. Vitaliy and Agostinho running rings around Steve Palmer and Agustin. One player who had been training with the youth team as we want him out is Robert Molenaar. Nicknamed the terminator. He gets drafted in the second half. The game starts becoming feisty. Then Rob went flying through Madeira with two feet sending him flying up into the air. The quiet one of the group who just goes about his busines is Scalls, we dont see or hear him at training. He comes in works his socks off, goes home. Eat, sleep repeat. Although not today, he took massive offence to the challenge. He charged over and laid Molenaar clean out. Me and pete have to run over, Scalls is on top of him seeing red!

‘Ya wee dutch fuck, get tae fuck terminator? more like sherminator ya soft shite!’ Wow he plays hard but we haven’t seen this.

‘Scalls come on leave it!’ I finally manage to get him off. Rob curled in a heap on the floor. This is not something I have had to deal with at any club I have been at. Arguments yes, full on fight club no!

‘Whats come over you fella??’ I ask quite sternly demanding an answer

‘Can’t put my finger on it gaffer I lost it. It won’t happen again’ He is so monotone in his reply I cant work out if its meant. Need to keep my eye on him. It is the type of fight we need though. We face Milwall albeit at home next up.

I pull up at the club on the day of the game and Kate is swanning around doing her usual game day duties. I ignore her as I walk past with my sports bag over a shoulder.

‘Ste can I have a minute?’ She sheepishly asks as I try make my way past

‘Sure..’ I replied pretty uninterestingly

‘I want to apologise about my behaviour at the club. I was out of order and shouldn’t have dragged you into it? I could hear the sincerity in her voice so I let my wall down a bit and replied

‘It’s fine don’t worry about it. You were hurting. We all do stupid things when drunk and hurt’ I didn’t want to be sounding like I was condescending but may have come across like that a bit.

‘Like I say im sorry, it is great what you are doing around the club at the moment and I should have respected that’

‘I appreciate that thank you’ I had really changed my stance then and began to be sympathetic. She picked her things up and started to walk away, then she turned and said

‘But I am not saying what I had said to you about you was stupid’ She scurried away with a light blushed look to her skin. Again I was taken back by what she said but got my head straight out of itas we had a game to concentrate on.

The big guns were back except Benny who picked up a slight knock in training during the week. His new found exhuberence clearly having an effect. Maybe I need to let him tone it down a bit. I decide best to monitor what he is doing. Adders keeps his spot after a strong performance with an assist in the cup.

I have a strong hatred for Millwall. Everything about the club the history of violence and they way their fans conduct themselves. We all have them but this lot are something else. I head to the away technical area and shake hands and wish luck to Mark McGhee. I have always found him to be an astute manager who just lacked a bit of something to be at the very top.

We set off again really well, attacking early. Colls scored for his third league game on the bounce, after yet more good work from Agostinho. He is turning into a superb piece of business. We sinished the half with nine from nine shots on target and deserved far more. The second half turned into a bit of a drab affair. The longer the game went on the more nervous I was getting. Low and behold in the 89th minute Christophe Kinet, who is a very dangerous operator for Millwall, easily skipped past a weak attempt from Adolfo to find Stev Claridge who scored. Steve fucking 35 year old Claridge. I hurl a mountain of abuse at Adders, he needs to be stronger. Claridge is running around like hes won the world cup I shout over to him

‘Claridge you cock your career is done thats the fucking highlight you bellend!’

He comes charging over and squares up to me I am livid, Pete is holding me back for dear live while McGhee just watched on and let him carry on. The referee who was Graham Atkins came over and showed me a red. Shit. Why have I let a goal like that get to me. maybe it is because we were so solid and they had just that one shot on target!

McGhee comes over to offer condolences at the end of the game. I just say ‘Fuck off you bell end, control your players in future’ My reply is juvenile but I dont care. As a manager he needs to take responsibility for his plaers actions.

I am that mad I can’t face the lads, embarrased about the way I acted more than any thing. I Head to my office to clear my head. Before I know it, it is 8.30pm. I keep reading through and through my notes, I am treating it like a loss!

Come on, I tell myself calm down go get a drink. I grab my Jacket and head to the door. As I open it Kate is stood there, bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, two glasses in the other

‘I thought you might need a drink………..’